My name is Gregory Martin McLeod. I was born on December 25, on Christmas day. I was very shy when I was a young kid. Everyone would always tell me that I was special. I don't remember many disciplines when I was a kid until later, around 10 or 14 years of age. Boy, I sure got into a lot of trouble during these ages. I remember getting disciplined quite often, also. I was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user at 14. I didn't like hanging around kids my age. I like hanging around older people because I felt protected and my shyness seems to disappear. Before I was diagnosed with the disease (bi-polar I was into drugs, alcohol, sex and rock and roll music. Those things ruled my life. I was sent off to a psychiatric hospital when I was just 16. I remember one of the staff carrying me out one night (we would get passes to go out for the evening) and you would not believe where he took me, To a topless bar and I thought I was in paradise. I never told on him either. I thought it was fine to go to a topless bar. I thought I could battle this bi-polar disease, but thinking that way led back to drugs and alcohol. Somehow after an incident, I was being seen as a patient by a Doctor near me. Things seem to get better. I met this girl and we were married. She is my honey{ sweet to my soul} She has stuck by me all those horrible years. I finally admitted to myself that I was sick and I needed some help, so I starting seeing a Doctor in the city. I was taking all kinds of meds. At this time I was working as an electrician in a manufacturing company. I knew one thing I had to quit the meds (for my job was dangerous. I ended back at a drug rehab center. I had already spent 6 times by now at rehab centers with no luck. I finally accepted the bi-polar disease and went back on meds. This went on for many years until I finally knew what my problem really was. I had a hole in my heart as big as a black hole in the universe. I had to fill it and I did. I found some hope. I started going to church and was getting much better. I could handle my meds and work too, but that would soon stop again. After the 10th time in a rehab center, I had a doctor to ask me two questions. The questions were this: "What do you want us to do for you here and what do you want to get out of your stay here." I didn't know what to say. I finally admitted I didn't know. And that is when I knew it was spiritual and not all physical. Needed my first Love back and he was Jesus Christ.