Damn that ho working at the gas station took my spot, I knew I should have gotten the car wash with my gasoline yesterday! Hello, my name is ////////, (this is bloopered out for anonymous reasons), I am an attractive and tall 34-year-old Italian Catholic Iowan woman with great self-esteem, a no-nonsense demeanor and a hot bod. This is my diary documenting each harrowing and life impacting shopping trip to my local Walmart. And no, it is not for the faint of heart, but for those with an iron stomach and a strong constitution. Don't mess with an Italian. Word up, playa.