Kant's Trousers is a philosophical satire that explores the boundaries of human reason through a fictionalised conflict between Immanuel Kant and Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. The narrative centres on a symbolic event in which Hegel sets fire to Kant's trousers to challenge the elder philosopher's rigid metaphysical frameworks and "fixed" categories. While Kant maintains his dignity by arguing that his core principles remain noumenally untouched by the flames, Hegel views the destruction as a necessary dialectical spark that forces history to move forward. The text uses the metaphor of clothing as epistemological infrastructure, suggesting that while intellectual systems may burn or fail, the human need for structure persists in new, provisional forms. Ultimately, the work examines how philosophical events are processed through commentary and footnotes, long after the initial "combustion" has ended. It concludes that although reason and history advance through such negations, the mundane realities of life-likened to laundry and maintenance-always remain.